Routine
by John Locke
Summary: Remus Lupin, shy and a book worm. Come into his world, in his PoV, see him as he breaks his routine. Not your usual Remus. Lighthearted no angst.
1. Turning Over A New Leaf

**Routine**  
  
**By: Squishy Gamgee May 26, 2004**

Italics are emphasis or the note

Warnings: Some vulgar language and innuendoes. Nothing too bad yet ;-)  
  
Today starts the day where everything starts the same. Confusing, yes I know I am. You see, I Remus John Lupin am a confusing being. No, I am not fully human, no I do not have a girlfriend, no I am not a normal seventeen year old guy. I don't go to a normal school, I don't have normal friends, looks, or interests. You see I, Remus John Lupin, am a werewolf, no girls seem to be interested in me, and I am a shy type of guy, unlike my classmates. I am a wizard, therefore I go to Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, I hang out with 'The Marauders', a big pranking group which I do admit I take part on some of the less harmful ones. I have shoulder length tawny hair, usually tied back, lightly tanned skin, better than my stark white skin during the past six years here, I am six foot zero, two inches taller than Sirius, three more than Peter, and a good six inches more than James. I also posses what my friends call 'amber' eyes. They're just being nice, I know that they are yellow. Freakishly so in the way that they remind me of the creature I am, but lets not get into that, ok? Ok, now moving on… I like to read and write, unlike any other guy I know, but that's quite alright. I am interested in finding a girlfriend like any other bloke, but still, its not my top priority at the moment… My priorities are.. Well we can save that for a rainy day.  
  
I get up at the crack of dawn like usual, I'm one of those lat to bed, early to rise people. I have more than one curse, I am an insomniac who does not sleep much, a total of four hours tops a night. I am surprisingly always alert and attentive. That is why I usually get smacked in the face with a pillow every morning. I go into the adjoining bathroom, and quickly strip off my pajamas and shudder slightly as the damned frigid air hits my skin. I started to move foot to foot to get adjusted to the colder, more unforgiving stones of the unheated bathroom. I do not know why I am using this bathroom, I could always go down to the prefects bathroom, but God only knows that Im such a lazy fat ass that I don't feel like going down there. Plus, Snape might be there, and Jesus, I HATE the way he stares at me, its just scary. I digress, but really… but Snape? Gay? Looking at ME?! I think I'm going to throw up… Ok I feel better now. Getting quickly to the shower I turn the knob for the hot water, like usual, first, wait for it to get hot, and turn the cold barely on. I like it hot, but only enough to not scald some rather important equipment off, you know what I mean?  
  
I laugh when I feel my hair getting plastered to by shoulders, I love being wet, not in that way sickos, but when it rains, showers, swimming, etc. The steady beat of the water reminds me that of a song, so I randomly start to sing, some random song that randomly floats in my head. Did I mention it was random? Anyway, this so called random song reminds me of her. The one who never did notice me, but I notice every waking second I am around her. Long silky black hair.. Beautiful sea green eyes, short, yes, but. Oh damn, I hate it hen that happens, I start to think about her, and bam, I have an instant hard on. Mother fucker… I hate being a guy, and a werewolf to boot. Did you know my kind has three times the libido, and stamina, it gets particularly higher around the full moon, which by the way is tomorrow. I remember how she looked at me that first day of school, we may have been eleven, but I swear on Anor, that she winked at me, and being eleven, that means a lot. But she grew, fantastically. Being me, I would never admit that, but damn she has a nice set of curves. Her name, why would you want to know that? Oh fine, Her name is Jessica [Jessi] Carmichael [sigh]. A fellow seventh year Gryffindor. She sometimes hangs around us. Being Lily Evans' best friend and all, but she had a fling with Sirius last year, not that I particularly like to comment on that, but lets just say last year was terrible, and Sirius is still a manwhore. I love him to death as a brother, but he _IS _a certified **MANWHORE**. Wow…I... Ok I'll get off that subject… she hangs around us sometimes, and yeah, she is not shy at all, sometimes I think she wants us all to get raging hard ons… She has the personality of a.. I do not know how to explain this. Pixie? Alluring and beautiful, curious and mischievous, but make them mad and you better run like there's no tomorrow. Temper like a beast that one, but its so funny to see her flustered when its not you on the receiving end of one of her torments. She turns pink, then great Ulmo.. Why wont this problem just go away? Maybe if I just stop thinking about her.. Ok new subject to make this go away… Hmm… where'd my shampoo go? I need a special shampoo and soap to mask the scent of my damn wolf pheromones, they can get so… bad at times that it seems like I need to attract the whole bloody school, plus it distracts everybody. Like the one time the guys thought it'd be funny to hide my soap, I got the weirdest people looking at me in such a way, that it seemed like they wanted to bang me senseless for the next decade! I mean even McGonagall was a little scary, I had to run out of Transfiguration and everything… I will never be able to wash my hand enough after where she put it! I still have nightmares…  
  
I shuddered as I heard the howls of laughter I heard as I ran out of that room echo in my brain. But oh, Payback is a bitch and Sirius James and Peter all felt it later that night. Again that's another story… Wow I am saying that a lot aren't I? But you'll understand later. I laugh at what I must sound like to anyone else.. But Im weird, after all my name is Remus Lupin. Coincidence? I think not. After I finished scrubbing myself, and all the pheromones away… I step out into the now what seems freezing room, the water dripping everywhere I scramble to get my towel, drying myself quickly, avoiding a certain area, and then after drying and putting my hair up, I settled the towel around my waist. I throw a spare towel over the puddle I formed by the shower, going against my usual instinct to pick it up, I leave it there. Its time to finally let go, loosen up, and have fun for once. Today is the day Remus Lupin does what he wants, where he wants, with who he wants. I do not care about trouble anymore, or a reputation. Time to unleash the real me. Time to get out of the routine that held me captive for so many years. I threw my stuff carelessly onto my unmade bed and threw on any old pair of jeans and a tighter than normal t-shirt, hell I wanted to show off for once in my school career. Im not being modest when I saw I am ripped. But what can you say, Im active, and not even my friends have seen what I rally look like under my usual baggy, altogether unflattering robes. This is the new me, well for today, tight clothes wearing, smart-assed, loud mouth. I want to see 'how the other half lives.' Like how it feels not to have to worry about anything. So Hell, I'm doing it. Grabbing my school bag, I walked calmly down into the common room, after slamming my dormitory door to wake up the others, and I surveyed the people already awake. Not many, but Her. Lily and Jessi. I waved. They sat there. Did nothing. Stared at my chest. I crossed my arms over myself and looked expectantly at them before sighing loudly. "Good morning ladies." I said shortly before sitting down in a chair across the room. "Very talkative today I see." I said loudly and very direct to them. Lily seemed to be trying very hard not to stare, but she elbowed Jessi. "Oh, Good morning Remus. Have any plans for the day?" Lily tried to make small talk, but it wasn't much. Did I not wash well enough… I looked down and almost bolted when I saw my very tight shirt and my pants which had to be described as a second skin. I almost forgot about the new me. Jessi was shaking her head and rubbing her eyes. "Sorry about that… Still tired you know?" A feeble excuse but oh well. I decided to answer Lily's question. "Oh, nothing much, just the usual classes and things" I let out a short laugh and Lily blushed. A great start already, I never knew how it felt to make a girl blush, but hell it feels great! "So, I think I'll go for a walk, if anyone is looking for me tell them to bugger off. Ok? Ok, great. Catch you both later." A said smirking as I stood. I winked at them slyly before swiftly exiting the Gryffindor Common Room. Outside the portrait hole I could hear giggles and squeals coming from the two.   
  
A smile plastered on my face I reached up and tied my hair loosely at the base of my neck instead of at my head, I wouldn't want it all over the place.. Or wait. Hold on, would I? Untying it fell to my shoulders still damp. Shaking my head rapidly, it dried considerably. Leaving it down I continued my route. To the grounds I go! The hallways passed quickly as I think I jogged, or maybe ran to the Entrance Hall. I felt incredibly good, and it was surly showing. The cold September air hit me, and blew my hair askew, I let it. It felt good against my face. I haven't felt so liberated since I was… well four! I went for a quick run around the lake, just one lap, but it took a good hour or so. I was sweating like never before so I stripped off my shirt, with difficulties as it was tight and now sweat drenched. I tossed it over my shoulder, and cringed when the wet material hit my clean shoulder, but shrugged and walked calmly into the school. It was now close to seven, almost everyone was awake and in the Great Hall by now, taking out my wand I dried myself and my shirt, slipping it back on I walked into the hall, amidst many stares. All of them trying to figure out who I was apparently, as I heard the whispers. I rolled my eyes and walked over to James, Sirius, Peter, Lily and Jessi. Lily and Jessi immediately stopped talking as they saw me. "Talking about me eh? I feel so loved." I remarked sarcastically. "No…Holy hell!" Peter exclaimed looking up for the first time. "What are you wearing? No let me rephrase that, what aren't you wearing? And when did you become so… so muscled?" Peter continued. Sirius continued to choke on his juice whilst James hit him on the back. "What is with the get up Remus?" James said wide eyed. I sighed as I sat down. 'Im sick of being all…all… how do I say this? Boring, bland, just quiet. Its time to do what I want now. No more of this conservative crap. I'm at least going to try not to. And it starts here." I didn't look at their faces ater I siad that. I started to east amongst the stares and whispers across the hall, they were all talking about me. And my new muscles. "I'd apreciate if you all did NOT stare and talk about me! Thanks, have a nice day" I said rather loudly for all to hear. "Way to stick it to them Remmie!" Sirius clapped me on the shoulder.  
  
"Hell, I didn't know people would be talking about me like this. I'm not some bloody celebrity." I mumbled only loud enough for the closes around me. "But you are pretty damn gorgeous." Jessi said blatantly. I noticed that she blushed. Hmm, I could use this information for later. I reached into my bag and scribbled something hastily onto a scrap of parchment and stood up. Shoving my things back into my bad I quickly said goodbyes. "Im heading off to class now, see you there." I nodded politely to them and dropped the piece of parchment into Jessi's lap as I walked by. A few cat calls and whistles followed me out into the hall. I was smirking as I walked up the sairs to my first period class. Transfiguration. Whoop-di-fucking-do. I wasn't looking where I was going when I ran into…Well something alive. I swore as I stood up, and then crouched back down to pick up my things, when I saw who and or what I bumped into. Gee isn't this my lucky day? That was the last thought that crossed my mind before I was knocked to the ground again but with somebody on top of me, trying to suck my soul out through my mouth like a dementors, or that's what it felt like. I roughly pushed them off. "What the fuck are you doing Snape!" I spat, literally, I wiped my mouth off with the bottom of my shirt. " I do not wish to be…kissed, or touched by you, anywhere or anyplace. Just leave me the hell alone!" It shocked me that he would, of all people kiss me. It was revolting. I didn't let him say anything before I grabbed my stuff half-hazardly and ran off to the Transfiguration room. I had half a mind to use scourgify on my lips. I paid no attention to whomever was in the room before I was. I checked my watch ten minutes til class, I laid my head on the desk trying to forget the incident.  
  
"Mr. Lupin?" I heard a semi-shocked voice. Groaning, I picked my head and looked at her. "Hullo Professor McGonagall." I said deadpan. I swore I saw her look under the desk. Eww… "What on earth are you wearing?" She didn't sound too displeased. "Clothes ma'am. Didn't wanna go naked." Same monotone voice. "You surly aren't clothed well enough, but since this is your first offence, I'll let it slip. Why don't you go find the rest of your group eh?" Now, McGonagall was not particularly old, nor was she young...enough. Nor pretty. The way she licked her lips as I turned around… I could feel her eyes on my ass as I walked out of the room, I quickly shut the door behind me. "Sweet Valar, this is going to be a long day." I muttered as I walked down the hall and ran into the large mass of Gryffindors from breakfast. I sighed relieved and I sprinted up to them. "You have got to save me. McGonagall was checking me out!" I hissed to Peter. He burst out laughing and told the others. Oh, they are going to pay for this later. "Im being serious! And no, don't even start there Sirius. She was staring at my ass and crotch! I swear on everything Holy she was. You remember what happened that day last year when.. Well you know." I said accusingly. I glared hard at them, the girls were clueless as to what I was talking about. We figured out a plan and started to walk back, I was in the middle of the group so no one could look anywhere but my shoulders or head. 'Why are you all so short?" I teased. "We're not short, you're overgrown you giant." I don't kow who said that, probably James. The little munchkin he is. We discreetly sat down in Transfiguration, as discreet as a group of six can anyway. That passed by uneventfully, until Peter started a note going.   
  
_Mr. Wormtail would like to as Mr. Moony why he is getting stared at by Grease boy?_  
  
_Mr. Moony would like to tell Mr. Wormtail that Grease boy ran into him before kitty's class.  
_  
_Mr. Padfoot gives a low whistle._  
  
_Mr. Prongs slaps Mr. Padfoot.  
_  
_Mr. Wormtail would also like to say that that probably isn't what only happened. Grease boy looks smitten with Mr. Moony.  
_  
_Mr. Moony would like to slap Mr. Padfoot also._   
  
I did slap Sirius, rather forcefully, and he fell out of his seat. McGonagall said nothing but instead gave me a knowing smirk. I wretched silently when she turned her back.  
  
_Mr. Moony would also like to throw up now._  
  
_Ditto  
  
Ditto  
  
Same.  
  
Mr. Wormtail persists that Mr. Moony does tell.  
  
Mr. Moony heaves a heavy sigh. Grease boy ran into MR. Moony, and pounced, literally. Grease Boy Kissed Mr. Moony. On the lips, almost slaughtered him. I wanted to Scourgify, but Mr. Moony thought that it'd hurt.  
_  
I passed it down, but didn't write anymore. Now the others disgusted, glared at 'grease boy' I almost ran out of the room when the bell finally and I gratefully went straight outside to the grounds for Care of Magical Creatures class. Hagrid was taking over because Kettleburn was out… He lost a few fingers last week. Oh well, Hagrid is nice. Funny bloke. Half Giant too. I can tell by my senses… but oh well today we were working with mokes. Funny creatures. James was going on and on about how he always wanted to have one as a pet when he was younger. I doubt if he couldn't take care of a stuffed animal when he was fourteen that he was ready for a living creature when he was ten. Poor thing if his parents were that inept at raising a child. The creatures seemed to like Peter the most. He loved them too. He was always the one to care for living things, animals or plants. I personally loved the stars, astronomy. Even the alluring power the moon had over my body. It was still fascinating. The classs passed uneventfully except when this whole joke started, I think Lily called it an idea for a television show? When Mokes attack! They all swarmed Peter at once. I swear the look on his face was priceless he was scared, but then Hagrid told him that they liked him, and were harmless, and he relaxed. He claimed that it tickled, and I almost pissed myself when he was totally covered in the little green guys. Thank Ulmo that we didn't have that class with the Slytherins again. I would have been hiding from Grease boy, none the less the rest of everybody staring at my chest, and other unmentionables. After prying thermoses from Peter we headed up for lunch, by then it was sweltering hot for September. I decided it was time to 'strip' down a but. I pulled off my shirt again.   
  
**A/N And I will leave you here for now… I hope you all like it, its my first nonslash Remus story! Flame if you want idc, I just want to know ppl are reading!**


	2. What?

**Routine-2**

**By: SquishyGamgee May 31 2004**

**[A/N just so you know, I'm making it so that Lily and Jessi know that Remus is a werewolf… for my own special reasons ;-)]**  
  
I was rethinking my situation with my shirt as I walked into the Great Hall amongst catcalls and low whistles. I got inappropriate stares and looks of want. And that was just from McGonagall! I tried to ignore all of the commotion about my shirtless nature, but it was getting unbearable. I threw down my fork loudly, and it clanged against my plate. "I'll see you guys later, the level of immaturity has risen to a point where it is astounding that anyone can even feed themselves." My short tirade ended when I stood and strode out of the hall, now amidst the glares of the school. Sheesh make up your minds people, do you like me or hate me?   
  
I hurried up to the North Tower where we were to have Divination in approximately… twenty-one minutes. I sighed as I heaved myself onto on of the overstuffed poufs, as far in the back as I could get. I started to scribble randomly on a piece of paper until words formed and turned into a very disturbing poem. I looked at it until I heard footsteps outside of the classroom, I quickly shoved the paper into my bag so no one could see it. I shifted uncomfortably when he walked in. Feeling his eyes on me until he sat down in front of me. Thank all the Valar and Valier for sitting in the back. A piece of paper flew in my direction from his seat. I opened it, and it read: _Remus, I like what I see; too bad it would be indecent to see more. Meet me at the lake at nine tonight if you want. ;-)   
_  
I almost threw up right there. I could taste the bile in my mouth. Swallowing hard I threw another piece of parchment, hitting him square in the back of the head. I really wanted to call Ralph on the big white phone right then. It was uncomfortable silence until some other Slytherins started coming into the room. They talked quietly to Snape and ignored me thankfully, well except for the usual glares, but I could tell that some of those weren't seated with the usual hatred, but with an appraising look. Shuddering I turned my back to them and waited for Peter, the other two marauders were taking Arithmancy, believe it or not.   
  
I sighed in relief when I felt Peter tap me on the shoulder to get by. He sat on the pouf next to me. I shoved the piece of parchment that Snape had flung at me into his hands. He read it and I saw him blanch. His usual happy expression was contorted in disgust. Running his long fingers through his blonde hair. I could hear him scribble hastily on the paper.   
  
_Mr. Wormtail would like to throw up for the second time this day.   
  
Mr. Moony say that Mr. Wormtail should get in line.   
  
Mr. Wormtail shakes his head with disgust. He cannot believe the nerve of Grease Boy. He would also like to ask Mr. Moony if he replied.   
  
Mr. Moony nods and says that he told G.B that he'd rather fuck a Balrog up the ass then get within a ten mile radius of G.B again._  
  
Peter burst out laughing so loud that their batty old Divination teacher, Madam Raedell, stopped class, whatever they were doing. "Excuse me Mr. Lupin and Mr. Pettigrew. I now volunteer you both to come up here and let me read your palms as a demonstration." We got up groaning slightly, and I unfortunately had to pass by Snape. I kept my head up high and ignored him, but I yelped out and jumped when I felt someone pinch my ass. "Snape! Do that again and I'll KILL you!" I hissed at him. "Looking forward to it." He said silkily back. Shuddering violently I continued on up to the front of the room.  
  
"Ah, Mr. Lupin, you first." Raedell said as I crossed my arms over my chest. I was surprised that she hadn't told me to put my shirt back on. but I could automatically tell why. I shuddered slightly when I offered my palm unresponsively to her. Smiling seductively she announced only loud enough so he could hear, "You have a long and choppy love line Mr. Lupin, you will make and break many hearts over your lifetime." I opened my mouth to say something, but decided against it. I yanked my hand back and walked calmly back to my seat, only pausing briefly to kick Snape hard in the shins for staring at me again.  
  
The rest of that class went by too painfully slow for me. I had to kick Snape again when he came up to my table. "Hey Lupin… You know I know about your condition and I had one eensy little question. Does your kind do it doggy style? Because I'm always game to try new things." My mouth dropped open. Sputtering I stood up. "Ten why don't you try this? I'm sure you haven't tried it before." I kicked him so hard in the nuts that he doubled over. Raedell looked up and asked what was the matter. "Oh nothing," I answered, "Snape here needs to use the bathroom really bad." I shoved him, disgusted at having to touch him, away from me.   
  
I ran out of the north tower when the class was over. I suffered through History, which was relatively boring as usual. Nothing did happen besides the note that was shared between the guys and Lily and Jessi.   
  
_Jessi: How was Divination guys?  
  
Remus: You don't want to know. Really… I think I need to use a memory charm on myself.  
  
Peter: I wouldn't blame you buddy x.X That was traumatizing just to watch!   
  
Lily: Was it that bad?  
  
James: Grease Boy again?  
  
Sirius: Do I have to kill him?  
  
Jessi: don't go killing anyone until we know what he did. And why did you say again James?  
  
Peter: He kissed Remus…  
  
Jessi: I'll kill him.  
  
Remus: Im touched but… in Divination he passed me a note… to go meet him somewhere, because he'd like to see more of me and ugg… and when Raedell called us up to the front, he pinched my ass! It was disgusting and everything I said he made a snide perverted comment back! He even dared t ask me… I cant even say it… for that I kicked him in the nuts.  
  
Sirius: …what did he say?  
  
James: …I'm, going to throw up…  
  
Lily:…I'm with you, some one give me a bucket.  
  
Jessi:… I'll kill him and then resurrect him and then kill him again! He's mine…  
  
Peter: Do you want me to say it Remus? You seem too traumatized to say it.  
  
Remus: Please…  
  
Peter: Well Grease Boy [G.B] had the nerve to come to our table and ask Remusif he knew if werewolves do it doggy style, and if he was interested in teaching him [Remus teaching G.B] Valar that was priceless the look on his face when you kicked him… but Im sorry that he traumatized you.  
  
Sirius: Lets start an angry mob!  
  
James: Grab your fire! Its sure to catch rapidly onto his hair!  
  
Lily: Hey Jessi babe, do you still have that pitchfork from your costume in third year?  
  
Jessi: Yes… I see where that is going… transfiguring it.. Heh. His skanky greasy ass is ours. He isn't going to live to his eighteenth birthday._  
  
The class ended there, and on the way out Jessi tripped Snape, He fell flat on his face. For good measure I kicked him again before leaving him behind. My new 'posse' as some would call it were laughing when they stepped on his back to get out of the room. We all retired to the common room, and being exhausted I stretched lazily across the couch, making it so there were less chairs than people. Sirius sat on my stomach and peter on my legs, giving the chairs to Lily, James, and Jessi. I groaned loudly in protest to the extra weight. I rolled over and they tumbled off, I started to flail as Sirius wrapped his arms around my waist. I fell on top of them, James looked like he was about to piss himself. Lily told us not to move as she dug something out of her bag. I heard a click and saw a flash. She took a picture. Jumping up, forgetting there were two people under me I jumped on top of Lily amidst her laughing and shrieks of unwillingness to give up the film. I gave up but didn't move off of her lap. "Oi! Remus get off my girlfriend!" James sounded scandalized. I wrapped my arms around her neck and she continued to laugh. "She like me better! She's my girl now." I could see a fleeting look of jealousy on Jessi's face, but my back being to James I mouthed to her, play along…   
  
"Of course Lily likes Remus better. Just look at him. So sculpted and tall and tan…" Lily said trailing off staring at my chest. "He's also smart, and tries at school, not to mention he's alluring with the fact that he actually likes to talk about things besides quidditch." Jessi added smiling. James sputtered, sounding scandalized. "Fine be that way. I hope both of you are happy." I laughed when I got up. "Its ok Jamesie-poo. I'll leave your girlfriend alone. Besides, I like Jessi here more."  
  
I said that without realizing it as I sat down, when she gave me a funny look I answered it with a questioning, "What?"


	3. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

**Routine-3  
  
By: Squishy Gamgee, June 5th 2004**  
  
"What?" I repeated at the pointed looks from not only Jessi but Lily. James looked relieved that I got off of his girlfriend and was laughing at my expense, or so I thought. "Never mind…" Jessi said receiving a glare from Lily. What did I say? Really I don't understand… I turned to Sirius and whispered, "What did I say?" He gave me an amused look. Knowing that I'd still be able to hear him, he said in a low voice, "You basically just admitted that you like Jessi. Not that it isn't noticeable in the first place." He smirked, but I soon found a way to wipe the smirk off his face, I punched him, rather harder than I intended to, on the arm. "Liar." I said glaring slightly at him. "Damnit Moony!" He exclaimed rubbing his arm. The others were now watching us intently. I stood up, "Umm… I'm going for a walk… I'll see you later."   
  
Before exiting the common room, I winked at Jessi, hoping she remembered my note from before, and glared at Sirius. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders as soon as the portrait hole closed. Leaning up against it, I almost had a heart attack when the Fat Lady shrieked. "I just got a touch up! Keep off!" Muttering loudly about a certain portrait needing to get a touch up to look thinner, I started off on my journey. Before I knew it The cool night air hit me, along with a mix of different scents. Humans, the lake… something cooking over in Hagrid's hut… It smelled oddly like... ferret? Shaking his head he stepped out onto the stone steps of the school. There were a few people scattered around the grounds, just relaxing. I am missing dinner, I came to this conclusion by the loud grumbling noise my stomach made. I don't doubt his friends were at the Great Hall by now. Looking at my watch, I saw it was now just past seven. Shrugging I started to walk to the lake, intent on walking around it, it usually didn't take me more than an hour, but I felt like actually taking an in depth look at everything. Just in one of those moods I guess.   
  
The leaves were a nice color, just starting to turn different shades of red and yellow. Definitely my time of year. Fall is just. So nice. Calm and cool, but not overly muggy like summer, yet the air isn't as dry and bitter as the winter. My transformations always seem to go better during the fall. I dunno why they just do. The scent of the humans got further away as I rounded the other side of the lake. A rare smile graced my lips as I was truly content on being outside in the wild. Its, no pun intended, a second nature for me to be outside, like it's where I feel where I belong the most. Damn wolf… The sun was setting and I picked up my pace. I was just about a little more than halfway around the lake. Glancing at my watch it read eight fifteen. I paid no attention to the scenery anymore and just wanted to get inside. I sighed relieved when I walked past the familiar oak tree that the guys and I always hung out under. I stopped walking as I looked at my watch _again_, eight fifty-five. I swear I have OCD sometimes... but that's something non related now…   
  
I was not more than hundred yards from the front door when someone, I must have waked right past them, tapped me on the shoulder. I tensed immediately when they whispered in my ear. "So you decided to show up after all. Such a faithful bloke. Early too. I'm surprised you aren't somebody's bitch by now." The voice… it was enough to make me physically ill. I turned sharply to face the person. "Get the hell away from me Snape. I have people to do and things to see." Whack. I hit myself in the forehead as he started to laugh. His laugh is by far the weirdest sound I have ever heard. "Oh, you know what I mean!" I snarled, "I have things to do and people to see. Now leave me be." His hand gripped my shoulder as I made to turn around to walk back to the castle. "Why so eager to run away Remus? I'm just looking for a little bit of action." Oh.my.Valar. He is so dead. "Snape, I advise you get your disgusting self away from me before I have to hurt you." I ground out between clenched teeth. He did in-fact take his hand off my shoulder, but instead put it on my ass. I jumped away from him with a yell of disgust. Before I realized what happened, my fist found its way into Snape's face, repeatedly. With a bloody nose and a black eye later, he backed off. I stormed up to the castle, not bothering to wipe my bloody knuckles off.  
  
Back inside the castle I hurried up to the common room, it was now nine fifteen. Slamming the portrait behind me, I got stares from all the occupants. Low and behold, my friends were still there. Well in a different order and seating arrangements, but still, they were still there. I sat seething on the couch next to James. Pinching the bridge of my nose and shutting my eyes, I was trying to get rid of this headache that had been bestowed upon me. When I wearily opened my eyes I saw the five staring at me. "What now?" I asked, a bitter tinge to my voice. "You came, rather loudly, into the common room, with bloody knuckles, and furious. What in the name of Merlin happened?" Peter said I guess what everyone was thinking. I glanced down at my hand. "Oh…" I wiped my hand on my jeans and I saw the girls cringe. "it's not my blood." "Ok then, since when does Remus Lupin all of a sudden start fighting?" James asked incredulously. "Since Snape became a total lusty prick. Since when could he even try to get away with grabbing my ass twice in one day?" My voice was so full of malice that even I cringed.   
  
"Twice in one day?" Sirius could hardly keep his mirth from showing. "It looks like somebody's got a crush on our little Remus. They grow up so fast!" He sniffled mockingly, to which I responded with a punch on the arm, in the same spot as before, he yelped in pain, obviously it had bruised. "Shut your mouth Siri. It's just so.." I shuddered, "disgusting. And vile, and just… unwanted. Why oh why does he have to feel it necessary to torture me?" My hands cover my face perfectly I found out. "Cheer up Remus, if you punched him hard enough to make him bleed, I think he got the message." Lily said, with Jessi nodding enthusiastically. "I guess you're right but still… the bloody bastard… need to learn to keep his hands off what he can't and will never have. Theres nly one person who'd ever be able to ever get me willingly in a relationship" Where the hell did that come from? Who said that? Oh, damnit here I go again. "Not that… aw fuck. I'm just going to stop talking now." My cheeks must have been as red as the couch the way they were laughing. I stood up suddenly. "I'm off to bed. Bye." I forced out trying not to talk much or stutter under their laughter. Bolting up the stairs I leaned heavily against the now closed dormitory door. I could hear them shouting for me to come back. Like hell I would. Pulling off my jeans, I didn't bother putting on any pajamas, lay on top of my covers clad in just my boxers. I pulled the hangings closed around my bed to ensure privacy. What I hadn't planned on is what happened next.  
  
The door flew open and in came Sirius, James and Peter. "Up Moony come on, you're coming back downstairs." Sirius said being well not joking, I'm not the one to make one of those stupid serious Sirius puns. "Like Hell I am." My voice must have been muffled because they all approached my bed, threw open the hangings and Peter grabbed my calves, James grabbed my arms, and Sirius on the other side tried to push me off. They got me off the bed alright. I was practically thrown, and on top of me struggling against them, I think I broke James' jaw by thrashing, and accidentally hitting him in the face with my head. They shoved me out of the dormitory door, not even letting me put pants on. Turning around I was met by two pairs of mirth filled eyes, which were tearing already, and one pair that was harsh and glaring. I felt my boxers slipping off and I quickly pulled them back up. Now was not the time to be wearing loose underwear…  
  
Sighing loudly as they pushed me down the first few stairs I quietly walked down the rest, but didn't enter the Common Room. Sirius tried to shove me through but I forcefully stuck my hands out against the walls of the stairwell, palms pressed hard against the stone. I clenched my toes over the edge of the stair. "Get the hell out their Moony!" Sirius said enlisting Peter to help push me out, I pressed harder against them. "I came down here, now let me go back up!" "Not after what you did. You're staying down there!" James said painfully from behind the other two. "Fine" I said before I let go and the two fell on top of me when I fell into the Common Room. James laughed the best that he could as he jumped over us. Using my hands as leverage I pushed my self up effortlessly with the two still on me. "Get off you dead weights!" I said over my shoulder. Peter looked astounded that I could still so what would be considered a push up with him and Sirius on my back. "Great balls of fire Moony, even I didn't know you could lift so much." Sirius said as he slid off my back and Peter did too.   
  
I immediately steadied myself on one hand, and reached the other to my waist to pull up the damn loose boxers, they were dangerously low slung. I stood up, my cheeks flushed immediately when I saw not only both Lily and Jessi staring at me, but all the other girls in the common room, and a few guys even. I spun around quickly to go back upstairs, but ran straight into Peter. "You're not going back up there." He said threateningly. Wow I didn't know the little guy had it in him. My shoulders slumped and I heaved a sigh as I walked over to the group I was formerly friends with. "I _hate_ you." I glared fiercely at them. Making me stay in the Common Room in only my boxers! How embarrassing! Even with my shirt off today.. That was the most daring thing I've ever done, and now, almost totally exposing myself to the whole of Gryffindor house? Lets hope that no teachers wrote home to Mum. "I hate you too." James tried to say, but it came out mumbled due to his jaw problem. "What did you say?" Lily asked quirking an eyebrow at James. Sirius laughed. "Well Remmie old boy has one hell of a hard head… the one on his shoulders I mean, and damn good aim. Took Jamie boy by surprise and bam! Hit him right in the jaw." Peals of laughter flowed out of both Sirius and Peter whilst Lily tended to her boyfriend. Jessi smacked them both for laughing. "It's not funny! He got hurt!" That didn't stop them from laughing. "He deserved it, and those two need a good whack too. Dragging me down here in only my boxers." I growled lowly. Damn them entirely. I'm just glad that Snape isn't a Gryffindor.   
I was shook out of my thoughts when McGonagall strode into the Common Room. She glanced at me, eyebrows raised. She shook her head lightly. "I won't ask Mr. Lupin, but you are wanted…" _shudder_ "in the Headmasters office."_ Shit_. "Why?" was all I could say, my throat tightened considerably. "Something to do with Mister Snape." **SHIT SHIT DOUBLE FUCKING SHIT! **


	4. Ugly With A Capital UG

**Routine-4   
  
A/N- Mind you It is 6:30 A.M and I Haven't slept in twenty one and forty six minutes. So please bare with me.  
**  
I sighed loudly and started towards the portrait, thinking. What did Dumbledore want? Was it because I had boxed Snape? Well he deserved it. Slimy bastard. I shuddered at the thought of his long fingers pinching my ass again. And again. The moment just kept on coming back. I could feel the blood rush out of my face as I paled. I was shaken out of my thoughts when I walked right into something. Or rather someone. "Watch where you are going Mr. Lupin. As your friends have so graciously" Wow was that a look of unbridled anger? Or disappointment? Well, anyhow… "pointed out, you should go get properly dressed before accompanying me to the headmasters office. Off you go, you've got all of two minutes to become _decent_." I heard the tone of mockery and even, gasp shock horror! _Playfulness_ in our dear old Minnie's voice. Urgh. What _has_ this school been reduced to?  
  
Shuddering at my own thoughts, I bolted as fast as I could upstairs. Sneering to no one as the laughter of my friends reached my ears. Ha ha funny. Make fun of the werewolf who unwillingly, or rather was unassuming at the reaction he would get by walking on the wild side. I wanted a different reaction, and woo-boy. Did I ever get it. The eyes all the eyes. God how I hate eyes… the stares, the whistles, and whispers. Sheesh it was enough for any person to go insane from! I shook my head rather violently as I bent over my trunk pulling out a pair of plaid pajama bottoms, and an overly large white t-shirt. Getting into them quickly I raced down the stairs, not bothering to cover my feet, I was used to the cold floor anyways. My friends were still laughing at my expense, or so I thought, when I tripped into the common room, my own foot caught on the hem of my pajama pants, pulling them and my boxers down dangerously low. I could feel the color rush back to my face as I hitched them up again. "See you guys later… If I'm not mauled by G.B" I said quirking an eyebrow as I headed back over to McGonagall. "Sorry, Professor. Hope I didn't delay you too much." I tried to ignore the quiet sniggers of the group as I headed out of the portrait hole, **BEHIND** McGonagall. Ugg, I would **NOT** want anyone like her behind me.   
  
The trip was silent, except for when I tripped again, this time landing on my ass. Successfully pulling down my pants and boxers again. "You've got to be more careful Mr. Lupin. Maybe if you pulled the drawstring on you pajama bottoms you wouldn't trip over them so much. Hurry up and get off the floor. Dumbledore said it was urgent." She said trying to keep her somewhat stern appearance. **Pah**! Stern… Haven't seen that side in ages, mostly because she favors us Gryffindors. I pity her, because she came in during my second year, and had no warning of our little habits to pull pranks. Now _thats_ aPity. We stopped in front of the gargoyle that concealed the stairs to Dumbledore's office. Been here too many times to be surprised the 'springing to life' act the stone figure put on every time someone mentioned a really rather random sweet. What was up with Dumbledore anyhow. If anyone else had figured out the trend they could just randomly spout off names of candy and eventually get the right one. Such a nutter that we all trust with our lives. But hey, there's no use In arguing he's a kind hearted nutter. Climbing the spiraling staircase with a faint smile on my lips, I stopped when I started getting dizzy. Good, I'm at the top landing. I hesitated in raising a fist to knock, but before I could even let one knuckle even rap at the oak, a voice from within startled me. I practically jumped before reaching out and grabbing the long curved bronze handle. Pushing it down I drew in a long sharp breath as the door swung open, almost without any force from me. Weird.  
  
Anyway, I stepped into the large round office, and my smile simply just fell off my face when my eyes locked onto one of Severus Snape's. The other had swelled shut. _Whoops._ Ha, the bastard deserved it… "Ah, good evening Mr. Lupin, usual seat?" Dumbledore's ever twinkling eyes assessed my outfit. Shrugging I sat down in the seat I always sat in. Couldn't be a trip to Dumbledore's office without sitting in the same seat. People keep on telling me I have OCD. No of course not, I just liked consistency. I can't go more than five minutes without looking at my watch, if I had it. My right hand was clasped around my left wrist where my watch would be. Damnit. Forgot it. My intones were rudely interrupted by the nutter. "Mr. Lupin. I have heard a story, or rather a complaint from Mr. Snape, saying that you attacked him. As I can see he does have a black eye and a bloody lip. Would you like to explain your side of the story?" Oh how I wanted to go over there and give Snape another black-eye at the snide and yet again longing smirk was giving me. "Well, I plead self defense in the fact that Snape has been sexually harassing me all day."   
  
I spat suddenly outraged. Wow how random, but I've learned to live with the mood swings. Better they came when I could actually use them to my advantage. "Sexual harassment! **HA!** You wish Lupin." "I have the fucking _bruises_ to prove it Snape. You pinched my ass so hard it'd be bruised 'til next week!" I shouted standing up, yet again outraged, furious, etc. Ah, I forgot to watch my language. But I don't really care. I felt sort of violated… after what he'd been saying about me last year, he had no right to come on to me. None at all. "Language Mr. Lupin, and I assure you, we won't be needing to see the bruises. Can you also explain what exactly Mr. Snape has done today?" Hmm… Did I want to lose my dignity…pah. What dignity? I'm a marauder, I gave that up the second I became friends with Sirius. Or just get the bloody tosser in trouble. We both vote choice number two.  
  
"Well, at first it was just him staring at me, but in divination not only did he pinch my uhm butt, but made snide sexual remarks, and even sent me a note with inappropriate suggestions on it. It was only a matter of time when I actually boxed him. He placed his hand on my ass for the last time. I swear if he even looks at me the wrong way I'll make sure he'll need to spend a week in the hospital wing." I blame my words on the full moon. Really I do. Not my fault it's tomorrow. And believe you me, werewolves aren't always tired before full moons, we can get a little bit wild and rather rambunctious at times. We only get tired **AFTER** the full moon. "Now now Mr. Lupin calm down. I assure you that if Mr. Snape ever does do anything unmoral against you, He will be punished. Now both of you, I suggest you go back to your dormitories before anyone misses you." I had never sat back down, and Snape jumped up almost as quickly as I had. "What? He doesn't get punished for assaulting a student? Great side with the bloody werewolf. Father was right, this place is going to the _dogs_."   
  
What a pity. His father may not be able to see the asshole ever again. "You sexually assaulted me first Snape. You're even lucky nothing is broken. Yet, or even disconnected." I snapped. Ouch, that would rather hurt wouldn't it. I even saw Dumbledore flinch slightly out of the corner of my eye. Damn I'm good tonight. "Well… but…" The stupid asshole sputtered. "Goodnight gentlemen. Next time I won't let either of you two off so easily." Heh. Well. Mission accomplished sort of. Snape would most likely get off my case after my last threat, and if he didn't. Well then he'd see what it'd feel like to no longer possess certain parts that it took to actually be labeled a man. Nodding more in relief, I turned and ran out of the office, not wanting to have to talk to the bastard anymore than I had to. Once I was a good few corridors and staircases up, I stopped to catch my breath. That was certainly… weird. Well actually, that was just something that hadn't happened. To me anyway. Walking casually back to the common room, I headed McGonagall's advice and tied the drawstring of my pants, after I tripped, yet again, but this time, I happened to trip into an unfortunate third year Gryffindor girl.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, I always thought James was the clumsy one, but I guess not." I offered my hand down to her after standing up myself. She glanced up at giggled loudly. Pulling herself up with my hand she nearly knocked me back onto my ass as she ran away as if I were Voldemort myself. Dodgy little girl… Shrugging I started back on my journey to the Common Room. Muttering the password, I got a weird look from the portrait. "Not going to apologize for you last comment? I assure you, you aren't going in until you do. That really hurt my feelings." The fat l;ady said sobbing. Oh bull freaking shit. Why me? Why does this happen to me? "I-I'm sorry. You aren't fat, in fact you'd be the one I would ask to be my girlfriend if you weren't a portrait…" What in the name of Anor had just come over me? I'm shallow sometimes, or maybe it's just the wolf, but she was ugly with a capital **UG**. "Y-you mean it?" I nodded. Smiling through her 'tears' she swung open and let me in the common room. "Thank bloody _fucking_ Merlin." I swore loudly, not caring about the little ears hearing me swear. Fuck them all right now for all I cared.   
  
"Oh, but I'd rather not fuck merlin..." Unsurprisingly, **THEY** were all still there, bar Sirius. I glared at them all for laughing at me before. "So, how'd your little '_date_' go Remmie? Did you and Minnie have a grand old time?" Peter asked snickering. "Or did you and Minnie have a good '_trip_' rather?" Ooh, his little rat ass was mine. "Bugger off Peter." I muttered sitting down on the unoccupied end of the couch, as far away as I could get from them. "Oh, went that bad did it? Rotten luck mate, maybe you could always ask her to the next dance. You two would look smashing dancing with each other." James said joining in on the Remus bashing. God they were both going to pay…. Just wait. Oh ha, how spiteful I can be. "Picture perfect couple Remus, I have to admit" For the first time in five years, I stuck my tongue out, at Jessi. "Just as good of a couple you and Og would be." I retorted. Og was the caretaker, very very very **UGLY** and revolting. More like Snape's type.  
  
"And what is this? 'Everyone poke fun at Remus day?' Why wasn't I notified? And where the hell is Sirius?" "My Aren't we full of questions Mr. Lupin." Well, that answered my question as to where Sirius was. Apparently he had nicked some food from the kitchens. Dropping the food onto the table, he sat between Wormtail and I. I glared at him. Still bothered about being laughed at. "So what did Dumbledore want? I mean besides you, seems like everyone else wants a piece of you now a days. Pity, there won't be any left for Minnie once Sevvie is done."  
  
I laughed. Oh how I laughed in his face. "He's going to be missing one important piece to whatever unlucky whore he ends up marrying if he touches me again." I spat angrily. I was dead serious on taking up home surgery, or rather Hogwarts surgery. Nothing but me, him and a bloody hacksaw. I got strange looks. "Seriously? Remus isn't that going a wee bit too far to threaten him in that way?" James said voice wavering slightly. I watched in amusement as my three best friends crossed their legs at the same time. "Oh, I have no problem in dealing with the source of my problems, and I wouldn't hold back when emphasizing my point. Push me too far and you get dealt with accordingly." Lily and Jessi were red from laughing at James', Peter's, and Sirius' faces. They looked appalled that I could threaten anyone's manhood. Well, serves them right. Make fun of me, and you get pay back. "I'm off to bed again. You dare try to disturb me, and Snape's personal rearrangement will have to wait. You three will be first." I sneered mockingly as I stood back up and moved to the stairs. I flashed them a sic kingly sweet grin before saying in a sing song voice, "Goodnight!"  
  
**A/N and yes Og is a real canon character**


End file.
